How to Break The Rules of Whiteness
A handy dandy guide to leaving the White club
White Abolitionist Noel Ignatiev described Whiteness as a club, one which people struggled to leave no matter how much they hated it. What did leaving the club require? “Breaking the laws of whiteness so flagrantly as to destroy the myth of white unanimity",” he said. “What would it mean to break the rules of whiteness?”
What he never did was describe those rules. The rules are not something someone hands us on a big block with chiseled letters.
We just learn them subconsciously and follow them often and to a T without even realising we were following them. So what are the “rules” of Whiteness?
You are White before you are anything else.
Your identity as a White person comes before your identity as a woman. It comes before your identity as a queer person. It comes before your identity as a parent. It comes before your identity as a worker. If your White identity is being threatened in a way that would support your other identities, like woman or worker, your job as a White person is to betray those other identities and put your White identity first. If a non-White woman tells you what to do to support women in a way that makes your White self feel threatened, you tell her to shut up and you never do that. If a Black gay person tells you that moving all gay people along means breaking a rule of Whiteness, get angry at them. Who are they to tell your White self what to do? Someone tells you something that would help your low-income self would also help a Hispanic person? Absolutely not. They cannot coexist. Kill that. Put Whiteness first. Make sure it remains intact. Make sure nothing disrupts the fundamental pillars of Whiteness, even if it would be of benefit to you.
Do not ask questions. Do not think deeper.
The very last thing you should ever do as a White person is ask difficult questions. Don’t think hard about your place in the world or what the root of your suffering is. Don’t question any institution run by White people or benefitting White people. And definitely do not question Whiteness itself. Sometimes it operates in nonsensical ways. Sometimes the rules are bent or cease to exist. Don’t question that. Just accept it. It’s none of your concern, or so they say. You will be more comfortable if you don’t ask any questions.
The comfort of other White people comes first.
White people should never be uncomfortable. Comfort is our birthright. Do not make them feel bad. Do not make them ask questions (see rule 2). Do not make them confront their existence. Do not make other sit with their behaviours. Don’t create friction and difference. Don’t force them to think of the error of their ways. How could you? What kind of horrible person are you? It doesn’t matter how much you love your friends or your family who are not White. White strangers come before beloved non-White people. That is just the pecking order.
You are a rule follower. Let us dominate you.
White people have to love rules more than anybody. A building is more important than a life. A storefront is more important than freedom. Do you see what people who want freedom do? You do not do that. You want order. You want to be subjugated. That is who we are. That is how we have always been. If it’s between a rule and your freedom, you put the rules first. Always. The “other people” are lawless. You are the law. You will always be the law.
The success of other people is your failure.
If they win, you have lost. There is not enough space for everybody. If someone else is happy, you must be unhappy. The joy of others must be sucked. It has to be destroyed. Be a joy sucker for the good of all of us. Don’t let them be happy. Don’t let them get ahead. It is better to destroy everyone’s happiness so that neither of you have any than to let someone be happy and find your own win. Better to be miserable than to be gracious because then they lose. I repeat, there is not enough for the both of you.
Plug your ears and say your “la la las”.
Don’t listen to people who don’t look like you. If they’re not White, plug your ears. They could be telling you you’re standing in a burning building and you cannot listen. They could be telling you you have toilet paper stuck to the bottom of your shoe. Doesn’t matter. Manipulate them back. You want the toilet paper. You want to burn in the house fire. I promise you. If what they say is useful, you should actually be even more angry. Because that means you lost the battle to always have the right answer (see rule 5). They should never have the right answer. Especially if it could help you.
Don’t ask. Just steal.
If “the other ones” do something good, never ever admit it. What is good is your birthright. Just take it. It’s yours. You remember why? Perfect. Rule 5. Don’t let them have something good. They don’t deserve it. They made it for you. Snatch it. Put your name on it. Anything they make is for you anyways, right? They work for you. They plant and harvest, you take and feast. Don’t let them think they own anything. Don’t let them get delusional like that. All good things produced in the world belong to you. It doesn’t matter who started the process.
You are not a sensual being.
Rhythm is not for you. Stick to bland. Don’t experiment. Your body is a bad place to be. Don’t feel. Feeling raises questions. Don’t dance a little too sensually. Don’t join in on anyone’s party. Don’t have too much fun. And if you hear someone having too much fun, call the cops on them (see rule 5). Fun is prohibited for you unless it is highly regulated and structured. So why should they have it? That’s just who you are. Don’t explore yourself. Don’t break out of yourself. Don’t get to know yourself. That’s what the dangerous people do. You walk stiffly and in a straight line and you don’t feel. That is you. It’s genetic (but don’t ask for a study on it, I didn’t have time to make one up yet).
Sounds like fun, no? Sometimes we don’t really notice that there were rules in the first place. But I’m sure many of us have seen one of these in action or resonated with at least one. People teach us these rules subtly over the course of our lives and they punish us for breaking them (see rule 4). But breaking rules is healing, particularly for us. We should break these rules more so we can be free. We should see what’s outside the box. Doesn’t it seem interesting and alluring? Have a little fun with it. Shake it out a little.